maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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