DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
