just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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