I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
