a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
