A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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