that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
