CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am available for nakedness
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
