i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize