yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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