I puked a lego.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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