Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
