i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
