Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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