I wish i was in the wii world.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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