So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize