if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
