The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
its liver damage thursday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
