I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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