it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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