hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i scared a bird with my dick
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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