Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
