my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
