Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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