so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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