Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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