The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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