Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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