my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
