Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
