So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
