I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
