I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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