what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
