she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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