You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
