I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
