I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
