3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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