...so i touched it.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
