After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Holy sore nipples Batman
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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