My Higher Power is John Stamos
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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