ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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