I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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