I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Your dad touched me again.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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