Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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