Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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