shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
