official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
