I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it glows. i had to have it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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