I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
