Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
