should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
