i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
