There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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