How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
