It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When are your genitals available?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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