Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if only i could text you this smell
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
