she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
