Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
