i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
