Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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